so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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