oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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