Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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