Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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