Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
