At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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