Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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