After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
