if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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