My hand turned me down
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Randomize
