Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
