i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
