May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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