4 words: hood of his car
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
