i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
