there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize