so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
