i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
