hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
