How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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