my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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