You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
