yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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