So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
