I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize