fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
