I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
