watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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