i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
