if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
