and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My ATM looks so different sober.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
