When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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