Its about making memories worth repressing
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
