what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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