i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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