I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
