I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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