margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
