Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
