New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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