but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
