That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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