My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
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God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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