its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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