no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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