I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
