Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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