OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
it was like eating out sand paper
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
