bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
