Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
