my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
