i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
