Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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