you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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