It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
