he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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