Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
wow bdsm is so cute
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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