oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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