So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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