I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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