We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just cropdusted the office
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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