East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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