I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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