Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
