My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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